五月跟何钢学高分作文，你来写我来改(页 2) - 雅思写作大家谈 - 新东方写作 - 无忧雅思论坛雅思|IELTS|留学|出国|移民

美心发表于 2006-5-17 03:14

估计５月是要考电脑什么的了

twisted 发表于 2006-5-17 04:23

really?

美心发表于 2006-5-17 04:49

哈哈我瞎说的因为看看机井其实主要的TOPIC就是这么几类啊动物 体育学生犯罪历史,.... 文化孤寂,,,还有就是高科技嘛其面几个都考了所以我猜就是电脑这类的而已

hfuthaier 发表于 2006-5-17 07:53

前几天就看到了，现在终于写了然后打到电脑里了，何刚老师帮忙看一下啊。我还有一个月就考试了，万分感谢！Title Space travel to the moon is considered as “a step of mankind.” But some people think that space travel has made little difference on people’s lives today. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Essay It is generally believed that space travel to the moon is regarded as “a step of mankind”. Nonetheless, some people feel compared with the previous steps of human being, the space travel has made little different on people’s lives today. I contend that the space travel is obviously a significant milestone of human development and the difference on our lives may be positive. In this essay, I will support my idea from 2 angles. Firstly, any important improvement of human society is consistently followed by numerous and various problems or debates. So did the space travel.  Leaving aside the intense question of whether it has brought little change on people’s lives, the fact that the space travel is regarded as a milestone of human improvement is self-evident. The nature of science is to explore the unknown field. In the part approximately 800 years, starting from 13th century when Chinese invented the rocket and the black power, human have been exploring the space out of our earth constantly without any stop .Today, people got to the moon successfully. Therefore, from this point of view, the space travel is significantly worth to remember.  Secondly, the difference on people’s loves may no be negative. The travel to the out space is a new thing which will obviously give people a new feeling. If some people can not accept the new feeling right now, their lives are largely possible to have been changed to a certain degree. Nevertheless , some time later , when the majority of people begin to suit this new thing and the benefits of it is obvious , we can easily give it a positive opinion . A case in point is the individual computer; it is difficult for almost everyone to imagine a world without any computer. To sum up ,the space travel is obviously considered as “a step of mankind” Although there is little difference on our lives , we should believe that it is only an integral part of the process the people accept a new thing .      Title Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. business, companies). Discuss both views and give your opinion.Essay Whether national sports teams and individual athletes who represent their country should be financially supported by the government is under dispute. Some people state that they should be funded by non-government sources such as business and companies; I contend an opposite opinion of them. In this essay, I will support my idea from 2 different angles.  Firstly, the national sporting players should be financially supported by the government as the government has the obligation to pay for the national athletes. The main source of the government’s income is its masses. The reason why the masses hand in their money, as the taxes, to the government is that that they wish the government to use these taxes to help people to live better, not only physically but also spiritually. It is to give people the sense of the national pride that the purpose of a national athlete is .Therefore, I believe, the government should use their income from masses to support these athletes. A case in point is the existing and happiness of the French given by the <country-region wst="on">France</country-region> football team and its champion in 1998, the <country-region wst="on"><place wst="on">France</place></country-region> football World Cup. I believe nobody will deny paying for this national team of course including the French government. Therefore, the government should subsidize the national athletes. Secondly, the athletes supported financially by government are significantly easier to enhance their results. If the government can pay for the national porting players, they could put their minds into practice without thinking of other things such as how to afford their family .For instance, a young but not famous national athlete who has not got any finance from companies or organizations can put his mind into how to be the winner but not how to afford himself. Consequently, from the perspective of improving the results, the government should afford its national sporting players financially.  To sum up ,not only from the angle of the obligation that the government should pay for those who make its people live better , but also from the perspective of enhancing the results , the national athlete should be subsidized by the government. 请问：我每次写作文总感觉时间刚刚好，挺紧的。而同时我的作文字数总是在330-350左右，有点多，如何去解决，谢谢。

sissylina 发表于 2006-5-17 08:34

谢谢老师

graycc 发表于 2006-5-17 10:05

何钢老师真是太好了！[em17][em01] 感动中…………谢谢何老师！！！ 2006年3月11日In many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society? Give reasons and make some suggestions.  下面是我的作文，学术类，请何老师指导。Nowadays, the amount of the young people leaving school increasing is increasing in many countries. However, most of them failed to find a job after graduation. Not only was youth unemployment a pity for the young people, but it also brought many problems to both the individual and the society. I’d like to make a discussion about such a phenomenon. On one hand, being out of work and study brought a sense of failure, which was harmful to the young individual in the future. Firstly, as leaving school so early, the young people have not enough knowledge to find a satisfying job. What’s worse, the lack of knowledge would be a limit and a block for the youth to raise themselves. Secondly, being unable to find a job and having nothing to do, the young people would feel uncertainly about the future. They didn’t know what they could do and what they should do. As a result, they might be in depression all the day or on a wrong way of doing something forbidden by the law. The lack of knowledge, uncertainty of the future and unemployment in the youthful age would cause a sense of failure, which would lead to a damaging influence on the youth. On the other hand, the youth unemployment also brought some unsure factors and instability, which was undesired in a stable society. Because of the youth unemployment, the society has to deal with such a situation that the more and more young people were out of work and idle day and night, or it would induce unexpected dangers to the whole society. To solve the problems, I think, it’s the best mean to send the youth back to school. The society has to take part in this work, with the help of the assistance fund for the youth. In this way, the pressure resulted in the youth unemployment to the society could be relieved to some extent.

xiaoyinzi 发表于 2006-5-17 18:31

大好人啊!!!

gissing 发表于 2006-5-17 21:41

<chsdate year="2006" month="4" day="29" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False" wst="on">2006年4月29日</chsdate> Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. business, companies). Discuss both views and give your opinion. 作文：帮忙评评，谢谢At present, people pay more attention on sports, whatever sports competitions held in many countries, especially Olympics. A part of men agree that government should invest fund to support sporters who represent their country, at the same time, some ones think that they should be finance by non-government organizations. In my opinion, those both have advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, government can offer steady supportment for sporters, comparing with famous companies, who only require to be spread widely by sporters as speakers of their products. In case, a sporter or sport teams have bad records in competitions, non-government organizations will stop the investment contacts. That will cause worse outside conditions for them. On the other hand, various taxes consist of income of governments, which should be used to finance poor people, improve medical treatment and education. The advantage of investment from non-government organizations is the biggest power to make soprters become super stars, and competitions are more bigger than before. The investment from companies are more than governments However, companies generally interested in famous players, not young sporters, and the sports may be games of who have enough money for their children pay bills of coaches. The genius in poor families will lose opportunities for be trained. The conclusion is the combine of fund from governments and non-government orgnizations. Government can set up school for poor children, and offer scholarship. When sporters are support by non-government organizations, fund of government is not so important for them.

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-17 23:27

十分感谢何老师从百忙之中抽出时间来为大家指点迷津，尽管拿我的作文做典型反面作文好了：）Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some say that teachers should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.  The teachers’ role in education has been discussed by a lot of people.Some said children should be taught to know the real world and how to perform well in the society.Others hold the opi-nion that only school subject should be taught in the school.Both the views are right in some aspect.For one thing,it’s students duty to study their academic subjects well which would do benefits for both their future careers and the whole society.I think that is also the purpose of most parents to send their children to school.With the development of  science and  technology, one can’t survive in the modern world if he doesn’t have any special skills.Everyone should study hard to be expert in some fields with the guidance of their teachers.So teachers should try   their best to teach their student the things that they need to know and the method of studying the subjects by themselves when they leave school.On the other hand,one can make the great achievement if he only has the knowledge of some aca-demic subjects.Because the modern society needs the people to know how to cooperate with their fellows in the team work.As you  know,the ability of an individual is limited.Everyone need to learn from others’ strong points to overcome his weakness,just as adding wings to a tiger.At  the same time,if one can’t judge right and wrong,he would also do crime no matter how much kn-owledge he has.The more he is professional,the more harm he would do to the society.So when in the school,teahers should also help students to behave well.Some moral lessons must be intro- duced to the schools.In conclusion,I suggest that the teachers should not only teach academic subjects in classes. The more important role they should play is to make the students form the healthy character   which would be very important for their future life.

明哲偶书 发表于 2006-5-18 21:34

good!OK!!!!

明哲偶书 发表于 2006-5-18 21:34

thank you very much!

明哲偶书 发表于 2006-5-18 21:34

thank you so much for this

明哲偶书 发表于 2006-5-18 21:35

thanks a lot for this

明哲偶书 发表于 2006-5-18 21:35

It is very important for me

angelina1230 发表于 2006-5-18 23:40

谢谢啊~~~`老师

JasonBai80 发表于 2006-5-19 00:21

怎么没有批改的回复啊！

viviviaa 发表于 2006-5-19 05:00

dingddddddddd

卓儿irene 发表于 2006-5-19 05:50

好盼望看看批后的文章，什么时候能看到阿？？？

chris_forever 发表于 2006-5-19 11:12

dddddddddd

俞扬发表于 2006-5-19 22:07

何老师,您好,我明天考,我想问问5月13日考的作文题,请您帮我预测一下明天的作文题吧,谢谢您了

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-20 00:14

典型反面作文示例二：Long distance flight uses more fuel than car and brings pollution to the environment. We should discourage non-essential flight rather than limit the use of car. To what extent do you agree or disagree? With the development of  car industry,a huge amount of cars come out nowdays.A lot of people have their own cars.Although air traveling is also doing harm to our environment, the usage of cars have bring us even more trouble. On one hand,there’re far more cars than flights nowdays.So although it’s true that a flight cost more fuel than a car,the total amount of fuel used by flight could never catch up with that of cars.As we know,the amount of airports are countable.However,we could never manage to know how many cars there are in a big city,not mention the total number of cars in the whole world.So you can easily find that cars are using the most fuel on the earth.Meanwhile,due to the huge number of cars,we often have traffic jams in rush hours. On the other hand,the pollution produced by cars is far weight out that made by flight.The waste of air that let out by the cars is directly breathed in by people which could cause them to suffer the lump disease on some occasion.While air travelling would never bring us such trouble as the amount of the plane would never be too large.Furthermore,cars have bring us another kind of pollution that is noise pollution.If you live near the street,you would often suffer the noise of cars which have bad effects on your sleeping and hearing.You would feel depressed in such environment. In all,I hold the opinion that private cars is wasting more fuel on the earth and cause more pollution than air traveling.There should be restrictions on the number of private cars,or the situation would be even worse.

graycc 发表于 2006-5-20 00:23

<chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">又写了一篇，请何老师批改！</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False"></chsdate> <chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">知道还有其他同学也写了作文，同样等待批复。</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False"></chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">但还是又写了一篇，希望能得到您的指点，哪怕只有一篇。</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">如果您有时间都提出指导意见，那就更好了。[em02][em04]</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False"></chsdate> <chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">还是那句话，感激不尽………[em01]谢谢您！</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False"></chsdate> <chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False">2006年3月18日</chsdate><chsdate wst="on" year="2006" month="3" day="18" islunardate="False" isrocdate="False"></chsdate> Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some say that teachers should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
 Different views about the teachers’ responsibility to students were hold by two groups of people. One thought that the only task of teachers is to teach students the academic knowledge, while the other one suggested teachers should teach students something out of books as well, such as, how to distinguish right from wrong and how to hold a good behavior and so on. As far as I’m concerned, I agree with the latter view. First of all, it’s the main responsibility of teachers to teach students about academic subjects, because it’s the basic task of a school. In order to accomplish it, most of the courses in a school were academic subjects and most of students’ time was spent in studying this courses. If a teacher cannot teach an academic subject, he would be out of the qualified teachers. However, it is not all. On the other hand, not only should teachers teach academic courses, but they should also be responsible to culture students to be a man with good behavior. Firstly, it’s the essential task for a school to train student to be a useful person. And it’s far from enough if a student only has plenty knowledge. The good conduct was rather more important. Secondly, the character of a person is often formed during one’s youth. So teachers should check student’s behavior as soon as he made a mistake, and tell him what’s right. Lastly, as student spent the whole day in school, teacher was the one who touch students most besides their parents. So they could correct them in time, instead of the parents. <span lang="EN-US" twffan="done" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN;">To make a conclusion, it’s required basically that teachers should teach academic subjects well. And it’s expected that they could hold the responsibilities to tell students how to become a man of culture.

maxiaoyun 发表于 2006-5-20 00:59

thanks everyone!谢谢无忧雅思网!我永远爱你!

封杀觉恋 发表于 2006-5-20 01:03

怎么没有的？

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-20 02:16

顶啊顶啊顶啊顶啊顶

wl116 发表于 2006-5-20 12:51

太棒了!!

renajeffrey 发表于 2006-5-20 17:51

麻烦老师了！我6月10就要考了。剑3 P28 Test 1 Task 2There comes a prevailing opinion that some international sporting occasions, such as the football World Cup, are essential due to their roles in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way compared to war. As far as I am concerned, I can’t agree with it and I believe sporting occasions sometimes even deteriorate the international tense relationship, not mention to make it better off. (67) To begin with, let us get to the fundamental that what is the cause of international tension. The causes can be roughly divided into two categories, religions and historical disputes. Both of them can be traced back to many years ago and both of them have been evolved into a nation’s emotion. That means both of them are less likely to be solved by a simple game. Furthermore, the international games may offer them a desirable opportunity to unity them to release their hostility which has been hidden in their deeper heart some hostility in deeper heart. In view of these factors, can we still regard international sporting occasions as a tool to ease international tensions? (116) Besides, just because of people’s releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way, there is probably a over-spread of such a release outside stadiums. Football World Cup is a good case in point, during those period many cases of force clash that they throw at fans from competitors’ countries and fight with them hit the headlines and some of them can give rise to a new national hostility in the future. That is why I hold that sometimes these kinds of sporting occasions even deteriorate the current tense international relationship. (89) In the light of reasoning above, a conclusion can be drawn that international sporting occasions are definitely not helpful in easing international tensions. In contrast, if the host of this occasion does not take out a serious precautions it will breed force dispute and give an unfavorable end. (48)

bridget0308 发表于 2006-5-20 19:45

万分感谢何老师啊,我8月5号考,请问下老师雅思考试作文题目在一年考试当中会有重复吗?谢谢

bridget0308 发表于 2006-5-20 19:46

  太感谢了

bridget0308 发表于 2006-5-20 19:46

  太感谢了

llkxzyp313 发表于 2006-5-20 19:50

xiexie

无声发表于 2006-5-20 20:48

谢谢何老师.知道您很忙,看着那么多热切期待您帮助的考生,真希望您别让他们失望.[em04]

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-20 23:26

典型低分作文三(我来写，何老师您来批）：In many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society? Give reasons and make some suggestions.   As schools are enlarging the number of students every year,graduates from schools lacking woking experience are becoming less competitive and maybe find nothing to do after leaving school.This would increase the load of the society and force individuals to learn the ability that needed to seek a job.So many unemployed people could bring a lot of trouble to the society as they can’t do any benefit to the productivity while at the same time need the tax payers to raise them until they find a job.The government have to spend more extra money on the special group of people and  less money would be spend on some more important projects.Some graduates are so eager to find a job that they have to do some physical work which can’t let them devote what they have learn to society as soon as possible.What even worse is that the unemployment could be a root of the increasing rate of the crime because some of them think others have taken their job and would hate the society and do something illegally such as robbery and theft.In order to solve such problems I recommended that more job opportunities should be provided by companies.Students could do some part-time jobs when they are still at school which could prepare them for the future jobs.They should not only learn the knowledge from the textbook but also from the society such as how to cooperate with other people and the ability to survive in the modern society.They should think about who they are and what jobs are suitable for them before going to hunt a job.Some lesson on how to find job could be introduce to college  to help student prepare for it earlier.If all of above motheds are realised at the same time could  it be more helpful.
[align=right][color=#000066][此贴子已经被作者于2006-5-20 15:28:38编辑过][/color][/align]

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-20 23:33

顶啊顶啊顶啊，谢谢何老师，俺去年九月份上过您的课，后来还听过您的网络课堂，可惜马上要考试了却还没练得您的真经：）

ada73 发表于 2006-5-21 03:02

谢谢老师

?﹏糖糖°▓ 发表于 2006-5-21 04:15

怎么不见老师批改？

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-21 06:32

老师肯定是要积到一定量一起批改嘛：）

leisurely0 发表于 2006-5-21 08:45

TKS VM~！

garlic 发表于 2006-5-21 19:29

xiexie

saveearth 发表于 2006-5-21 21:47

肯定要看的啦，多多上传吧

页: 1 [2] 3 4 5

无忧雅思论坛's Archiver