五月跟何钢学高分作文，你来写我来改(页 3) - 雅思写作大家谈 - 新东方写作 - 无忧雅思论坛雅思|IELTS|留学|出国|移民

fengao9888 发表于 2006-5-21 23:16

何老师,能得到您的指点是我莫大的荣幸,我不介意您把我的文章当众点评,请您提出一些修改意见，十分感谢！顺便按雅思的要求给我打个分.谢谢.Topic:In many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society? Give reasons and make some suggestions.下面是文章In many countries, youth unemployment has become a big problem for the individual and society. If the government can not solve it,the result will be very serious.We can always watch or hear the specialists , officer and other common people discussing this inportant problem on TV or other media. It means there is high concerning about this issue in many countries due to the reasons presented below.  Most important of all, it will cause crime problem.Verdure and little social experience are youth’main characteristic. It is easy for them to stray into the wrongdoing if they have no job after graduation.  Furthermore, it is not benefit for social developing.Youth is every country’future.The new technology is emerged everyday in current society,grasping these new technology is easier for youth than many old men. Pioneeering spirit, creative and aggressive , everything that is engine for developing.These are merits of youth, too.Providing more job opportunities to develop their advantage is every government’s duty. Last but not least,it can not built equally rival. Without equally rival, how to create equal society. Freedom, love, etc., everything that can not be mentioned. So it will influence the balance of sociality. It is above mentioned reasons that make the social and individual problems. In my opinion, the government should create more job opportunities for youth , such as let old man retire advance. At same time, the school should give more applied lessons for their students, which can be applied by youth as soon as they graduating.

emilyshhnd 发表于 2006-5-22 02:40

[em01]

emilyshhnd 发表于 2006-5-22 02:40

[em02]

emilyshhnd 发表于 2006-5-22 02:40

[em04]

清华精神 发表于 2006-5-22 22:39

改过吗?

清华精神 发表于 2006-5-22 22:39

真给改我也发几篇

baimoli1982 发表于 2006-5-23 00:54

xiexie

三儿33 发表于 2006-5-23 05:46

老师本来是好意的，可是看来老师太忙了，虽然偶不想写了献丑，但还是很期待看到老师的批改，希望能学到东西

yoyoball 发表于 2006-5-23 06:56

h

News editors decide what to broadcasy on tv and what to print in newspaper.What factors do you think influence these decisions?Do we become used to bad news?Would it be better if more good news was reported?  Generally speaking,one kinds of media has its own way on decisions.The way fit both the media itself and its certain readers.The factors that influence the decisions are variety.  First of all,the news must include some valuable information,which can attract people.When the reader sees the headline,he or she likes to go on with it ,which may be interest or serious.For example,you can put on the news that a dog and a cat live together peacefully,they become friends.Or the news that some person finds an animal which looks like human being in the local mountain.Second,the truth of the news will influence the decision .If the thing doesnthappen accutally,then we broadcast it ,that isnt news ,it’s story.On the basis of the truth, the editor put some description into it ,and guide the reader to think about the truth .But in some entertainment news ,for the aim of good sales ,the news can be much more exaggerated.The editor should also think that what is the kind of  their reader.If they are children ,you cant print the violent news ,sexy or cheating.  No news is good news.But if there were news,they could be either goog or bad .Every thing has its two faces.News doesn’t often reflect the beautiful aspects of life .We need the news which are real near to our lives ,it should tell us what has happened to the world ,we can accept it no matter good or bad it is.The bad news is regular thing,it can warn us and give us experience to such kind of thing .More good news is better ,although we already have had so much .Life need to be encouraged .Good news always make people excited and happy ,but we cant ignore the bad news or the warning bell in our lives.pingfang3@hotmail.com
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silang99 发表于 2006-5-24 00:51

顶

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-24 02:46

[em07]盼了一个多礼拜了，何老师莫不是要等六月份才给评？急切等待中！[em07]

sjdonna 发表于 2006-5-24 03:38

Thanks so much Mr.He!! I was impressed with your lectures that are very well-organized, amusing and broadminded.It is our bless to meet you in Neworiental and here!

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-25 06:28

waiting

yangsheep 发表于 2006-5-25 06:45

thank you Mr.he

种子的力量 发表于 2006-5-25 07:01

hao

jj7 发表于 2006-5-26 00:45

Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their county should be financially supported by the government. Hoever others argue that they should be funded by the non-government sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.以下是我的文章，请老师不吝赐教The national teams and individual athletes win lots glories for their countries. Undoubtly they are the national heroes. However, nowadays there’s a heating debate on who should financially support these heroes. Some people insist that the government should take this responsibility, while others suggest that these athletes should be funded by non-government sources. Before presenting my own opinion, I’d like to study the both sides of this discussion first.   For those people who believe that the government should support these athletes, their reasons are as followed. Firstly, these athletes fully devote themselves into the hard practice and exercise, they seldom have income except the subsidies from the local government. If there is no enough governmental funds, even their basic life can not be guaranteed. Secondly, the cultivation of athletes is a long term project and is also money consuming. Very few commercial groups are likely to invest into the development of athletes, for there is very few business opportunities in it. Meanwhile, One country’s sport competition level is also an indication of that country’s general power. So, the government’s expense on sports should also be in the budget.  However, some people oppose the opinion that government’s support should be the main fund for the development of sport. To begin with, the fund for government is limited, and these capital should be used to improve people’s living standard and the construction of infrastructure. The expense on sport items is a big burden for our government’s tight budget. Furthermore, it’s a stereotype that the government take charge of all the projects of sport developing. Actually, many investment are waiting for entering into this new market of cultivating their own sport stars.  The Nike and Addidas camps are very successful examples, which are commercially run by two biggest sport shoes makers in the world.  As far as I am concerned, I think the combination of governmental fun and commercial capital is a good way to support these national athletes. Such new fundation system can assure the government’s control in general developing direction, also can exert the advantages of social funds.
[align=right][color=#000066][此贴子已经被作者于2006-5-25 16:46:18编辑过][/color][/align]

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-26 03:36

waiting

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-26 21:01

waiting \waitingwaiting

rodayan 发表于 2006-5-27 00:38

能写出来已经很不错了……我还没头绪怎么写呢。

舞影飞扬 发表于 2006-5-27 03:16

天啊

daisycyc 发表于 2006-5-27 03:46

xiexie

lexmark 发表于 2006-5-27 04:21

你个骗子，你要是不想帮忙就不要来开专帖，开了就要对你的帖子负责，这么多学生对你报以感激，想不到你竟然这样辜负大家，我都考完了也没有见你回帖子，你什么人啊

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-27 06:23

呵呵，楼上的不要这样说人家老师嘛。也许本来就是要等6月份再一起批呢？我六月十号考，希望能等得到。

登风的旗 发表于 2006-5-27 20:39

没见批改或点评阿？难道是发到个人的站内留言？

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-28 00:04

应该不是吧，要不然也会在这通知一声的啊

lcfsmile 发表于 2006-5-28 02:33

thx

npciae 发表于 2006-5-28 02:45

[em01]

xtb146093 发表于 2006-5-28 06:01

何刚大骗子！！同学们的谢谢是白叫的吗？？？！！！我们等得花儿都谢了！弄个帖子出来惺惺作态博感谢！简直XX！同学们写作文容易啊！自大狂！

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-28 07:36

嘿嘿，楼上的又激动了，写作文可不能让它太痛苦哦，否则考试就痛苦了：）

gmkqs 发表于 2006-5-29 04:19

NPR超级听力MP3下载 2005年10月29号,课程结束,之后就是自己的复习了。我想把自己复习的一些方法写下来,大家看看能...我的方法很笨,就是练习听写,材料就是剑1到剑4的听力考试。具体方法是先做题,然后听写TRANSCRIP

leoundersky 发表于 2006-5-29 23:24

谢谢

lylt 发表于 2006-5-30 00:12

We saw nothing about teacher He's comments about the students articles. Why?

lylt 发表于 2006-5-30 00:15

Is it a fake message "follow Teacher He to study how to write the composition"?

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-30 07:21

真的有点急了

phisical 发表于 2006-5-30 17:03

谢谢你的指导

kissGoodbye 发表于 2006-5-30 20:24

[em01]

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-5-30 20:48

116楼，何老师指导过你了？
[align=right][color=#000066][此贴子已经被作者于2006-5-30 12:48:37编辑过][/color][/align]

yinbe2005 发表于 2006-5-30 22:56

在这有人帮你改www.up2up.com.cn/bbs

qwer801153 发表于 2006-5-31 05:14

谢谢老师

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