五月跟何钢学高分作文，你来写我来改(页 5) - 雅思写作大家谈 - 新东方写作 - 无忧雅思论坛雅思|IELTS|留学|出国|移民

yinbe2005 发表于 2006-6-9 17:38

模板痕迹严重，楼上的

hxzerg001 发表于 2006-6-9 20:15

哎，明天考试了，何老师不给改，算了吧我的就当低分范文给以后的考生参考了吧

lengyi3211 发表于 2006-6-9 20:24

顶一个的

lengyi3211 发表于 2006-6-9 20:26

再顶一个

jh_zhang8 发表于 2006-6-10 03:20

谢谢老师

iammomo84 发表于 2006-6-10 04:43

[em10]

iammomo84 发表于 2006-6-10 04:43

[em02]

iammomo84 发表于 2006-6-10 04:46

[em02]

Doc_M 发表于 2006-6-10 06:21

[em03]

RORONOAZORO 发表于 2006-6-11 22:59

新手上路先顶下！！

卡黑卡 发表于 2006-6-12 05:21

我也要写~

shadow1124 发表于 2006-6-12 09:08

谢谢

baodan1986 发表于 2006-6-12 18:06

谢谢了

tlw7300 发表于 2006-6-12 23:23

I want to learn more from you. thanks!

mitsubshi_365 发表于 2006-6-12 23:57

厉害啊!!!

yoyoflying 发表于 2006-6-13 01:48

3.4月考过的题目７．８月还会再考么

wljlyn 发表于 2006-6-13 04:07

[em08]

cappuccino_118 发表于 2006-6-13 05:46

哇赛太强了啊，谢谢帮助考生度过写作难关啊

coolsamson 发表于 2006-6-13 17:51

hahahahaha

yuxiashan 发表于 2006-6-15 17:04

that's great!

henryfly 发表于 2006-6-16 17:51

这下好了

maotou88 发表于 2006-6-16 18:28

[em02]

jiangwenjuan83 发表于 2006-7-14 18:40

ding

friia 发表于 2006-7-18 23:07

何老师您好，我写的，套写的您的模板，题目是如何看待青少年上网的问题：There have been two opposing views about playing on-line games in modern times.One view states that playing on-line games is a colorful way to relax.Another view,in contrast to the first one,believes that games have many disadvantages therefore it would be forbidden,especially for children. It is not uncommon these days for playing on-line games.This issueshows the problem which people want to play games to alleviate the pressure given by family,school and work.For example,if you depend on the social life,you can cry in fictitious space such as games world.Additionally,people want to achieve the material success which don’t come ture in society.Consequently,playing on-line games become a fashionable entertainment.People who playing games are not only children,but also adults. Another issue proclaims that playing games is an abysm.If you love games very much, you should spend much time on it.Because of this, many people haven’t enough time to work and sleep.As a result,they lost their jobs and health, even their families. Some children learned to pilfer the money earned by their parents.This behavior makes parents angry..In fact,the more the children are prohibited from playing games, the more they play. In conclusion, it is necessary to playing games. With the struggle of player and inventor, I do believe that,as time passes, the technology of games can reach a point to teach some philosophy about life and solve those problems mentioned so far.  请老师不吝赐教！感激涕零！

stella_baa 发表于 2006-7-21 19:45

请老师不吝赐教！感激涕零

[UserName=何钢][/UserName]学术类的考生，8月5号考试，请何老师指导！Topic: Some people believe that the government should spend the large amount of money it is channeling into artistic and cultural projects on basic infrastructure projects instead. Do you agree of disagree?  What’s the wiser way for government to spend money, on infrastructure projects or artistic and cultural ones? Some people are critical of the government spending too much on the latter, complaining that this money should channel into basic infrastructure projects, say, welfare given to poor people, funds for basic facilities and so on. However, other people come to differ. Although opinions vary, the answer to this question in essence depends heavily on the levels of economic development in one country. In the highest developed nations, such as the <place wst="on"><placename wst="on">Unit</placename>
<placetype wst="on">State</placetype></place> and some European countries, their basic infrastructure constructing and agriculture and manufacture industry have already reached a high level. Then the government must seriously consider sparing a large amount of outlay into artistic and cultural projects, take city sculptures, art exhibitions and entertainment industry as examples. These sections contributing substantially to the fascination of a city or a country are also highly desired in people’s rich and convenient life. On the contrary, in some countries, suffering from poverty, such as some African nations the government even can not suffice for people’s food and clothes, let alone artistic and culture project. Thus the money must be wisely put into agriculture, constructing of basic facilities and funds for staving people. For some countries like <country-region wst="on">China</country-region> and <country-region wst="on"><place wst="on">Korea</place></country-region> the economic development is optimistic. They have the capability of carry on the artistic and cultural projects, without which the life of the citizens will be fade a lot. A certain amount of funds for them is as necessary as for basic infrastructure ones. If spent properly, they both will benefit the economy a lot. Which of the two is the wiser way for government to spend money on? Certainly, different countries have diversity plans. However, spend according to their own conditions, then they will benefit a lot from either project.

jck 发表于 2006-7-30 03:28

真是太好了

stella_baa 发表于 2006-7-31 00:25

何老师不在吗？俺下周就考了！！！求助：有人知道要怎么样才能找到老师改作文？

cassielin 发表于 2006-8-11 18:40

杨过发表于 2006-10-16 06:43

[UserName=何钢]请何老师高抬贵手,帮我看看我的模版好吗?我已经考了两次,两次作文都是4分 Recent years A has become a focus of public issue.According to statistics from the local authority, the number of XX in 2000 was % upgrade than that of the previous year. Official figures show that ……………
①official medical research indicates that ...
②A recent study indicates that … This problem is gaining more and more concern of the public. People retain diverse opinions towards this public focus. Before rendering my position, I think it is essential to explore both sides of the hot matter. Advocates of this hot issue hold the belief that …..⑴To begin with,  A is l       for example ,        that is to say …⑵Moreover,              in other words ⑶Last of all,                by this I meanSome other people, however, are strongly against this hit issue for several reasons.⑴First and foremost ,It is lavish our limited public funds, in other words, government first duty is to help the poverty people and improve people’s welfare.⑵Furthermore, ㈠It is  ㈡A is time-consuming, by this I mean , A are so tempting that many Children/people/students/ can hardly focus on their study/work.⑶Last but not least, ㈠violates human/animal rights In the finally analysis, both sides have its sound effects. However, if asked me make a choice, I will side with   …...[/UserName]

yuwawayuwawa 发表于 2006-12-17 08:37

ddddddddddd

joule_yhzhu 发表于 2007-1-9 18:15

2月10日考A类，期望能得到何老师的指导Topic: Happyiness is considered very important in life.           Why is it difficult to define?            What factors are important in achieving happiness?
With the development of economic and sociology, many researchers have paid much attention on observing if people are happy or not. Even the scientists are difficult to define that happiness is a sense of feeling or a status. Some people regard happiness as a sense of feeling which are based on different people and different period of time. In another word: towards the same thing or event, ever one people may get different feeling just because meeting stimulation 3 minutes ago. On another hand, some people believe that status will influence people’s happiness. That means the upper class and the middle class tend to be easy to find happiness compare with the poor. So if you are the sensible and easy to be desperate or sad, just adjust yourself, control you emotion. You should think more bright side of the event and people. That means if you think you can hold the happiness then you can. But suppose you are person focus on status in achieving happiness, the on<personname wst="on">ly</personname> thing you can do is work hard, change your position and get the power. Above all, adjusting and changing one’s position are on<personname wst="on">ly</personname> 2 among different ways in achieving happiness. But to each people who want to achieving happiness, please know yourself first<personname wst="on">ly</personname>.

284344781 发表于 2007-1-11 21:51

<div>题目是:some people claim that it is their freedom to use tobacco while others think tobacco should be classified into illegal drugs.To what extent do you agree with using tobacco?</div><div> </div><div>Judgine from the fact,it is very obvious that the problem with tobacco used from people has become part of our everyday life to some extants.Some people consider that tobacco should be classified into illegal drugs,this viewpoint is not principle.But if all the factors are complated,the advantages carry more weight than disadvantages of using tobacco.As the proverb gose:"so many people,so many minds".</div><div> </div><div>To begin with,it is a fact well known that there has about 150 million people smoking in the world,it is a very large numbers to comparative with globai population.So,it is not only protected freedom with majority of people.,but aiso has many benefits.Tobacco is necessary thing who is a modern generation.Nowadays,you can see shop soid tocacco everwhere,no matter when you need,you can bought it.In china,send prent is popular on festivai,but the tobacco and wine hold the prent about 90%,tobacco and wine becomes a synonym with prent.After understanding the reasoning above,it is safe now to say:tobacco is a thing which essential for people's life.</div><div> </div><div>On the other hand,we can clearly see that tobacco have a great influence with economic.In china,every big city must has a factory to product tobacco,as what has been said above,there has 150 million people smoking ,it is too large economical benefits to belive.And this factory will provided so many employment stations to hoboes,reputedly,workers worked in tobacco factory who hold the 15% at all workers employments at factory.</div><div> </div><div>From what has been discussed above, we can reach the conclution that using tobacco is harmful our health but not should not be regarded as same as illegal drugs.谢谢老师｀</div>

fly蛋蛋 发表于 2007-1-18 05:50

厉害啊加油

桃子妮 发表于 2007-1-24 06:20

唉……活动结束了吧……亏了……<img alt="" src="/Uploadfile/2007-1/2007123221949734.gif"/>

easondada 发表于 2007-4-4 23:21

作文是很难啊,谢谢何老师

ShaniaG 发表于 2007-4-12 06:14

议论文 (谢谢修改!)

[UserName=何钢]<chsdate wst="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="22" month="4" year="2006">2006年4月22日</chsdate>Some people consider that history is of little or no use to us. Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.  For many years, history has always been a course in secondary schools and high schools, even in universities; it is an elective course for undergraduates. Some people claim that history is not helpful for us, while others hold an opponent opinion, for they insist that studying history benefits a lot. As to me, I agree with the latter one. Those people who consider history is useless hold the opinion that the more we focus on history, the less we are focusing on the present. History learners, they say, are just studying what had happened before without considering what is going on now. In addition, they say that history shows the mistakes of humanity and can turn us into cynics. On the other hand, the opponents believe history is important. People who don’t understand history are doomed to repeat the mistakes made before. They say history gives us a sense of our place in the world, and help us to know the present. Similarly, history provides us a chance to learn different cultures and the meaningful events happened before. In <place wst="on"><country-region wst="on">China</country-region></place>, there is a series of books, called Zizhi Tongjian, great historic writings of politicization, give the governors’ excellent advices. Besides, the mistakes, mentioned in the history books, always tell us how to hold a valuable life, and with less regrets. Actually, history is just a science like all the others, with things that have been discovered and things that are waiting to be asked about, investigated, hypothesis. So we should put it to similar status with other subjects.  [/UserName]

nemo_pity 发表于 2007-12-26 19:01

Please help me to revise my essay. Many thanks.

[color=royalblue]Traffic jams are now a major problem in most cities. Howevre, it seems that people are not prepared to give up their cars and use other forms of transport. Discuss the reasons for these two situations and suggest how the situation might be improved or resolved.[/color]
[color=#4169e1][/color]
[color=#4169e1][/color]
[font=Times New Roman]Everyone who lives in the city feels that we suffer more and more from traffic jams everyday, and this problem caused serious effects on people’s daily life. In this essay, I would like to state some reasons and recommend possible solutions.(41)[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Traffic jams lead a great amount of negative influences to our society. In the first place, people waste their precious time on the road everyday. In the second place, cars which stand in the traffic jam are producing a huge amount of pollution which is harmful to our environment and to people’s health as well. Thirdly, more and more roads are occupied by car parking. Therefore, there have far more enough space for walking and cycling.(76)[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Although people suffer so much from traffic jam, most people still persist to drive their own cars. To show their wealthy, some people drive most expensive cars on the narrow street. While other people argue that driving is the basic right for everyone who has driving license. They are favorable to be freedom. (53)[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Facing such serious problem, government should take immediate action to deal with traffic problem. Here, I would like to advice three ways for this issue. First of all, a new law should be introduced concerning such terrible problem. Second of all, the authorizes should spend more money on developing public transportation such as buses, metro and trams. Last but not least, the car drivers should pay heavy taxes for their pleasant cars.(72)[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Finally, along with science and technology development, there is no question about scientists will solve this social problem in the near future.(22)[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Total264 words[/font]

hanrui19861113 发表于 2008-2-13 14:22

麻烦老师匀出两分钟

Could you spare a few minutes to recompose my  composition ??? I will attend the IELTS exam on Mar 1st. I　DO need your HELP!!
Thank you !!

雅友们亦请尽情评论

Some people think that old people should not be fored by law to retire
by law at the age of 60-65 if they wish to continue working. Do you agree
Write about 250 words

A number of peple hold the opinion that elder people should retire at the age of 60 or  65 by law ,whereas some people think the elder people can continue working as long as they wish .I will discuss the issue from two sides !

Proponents  argue that the job opportunities are limited in the certain society where we live in .If the elder still hold the position even when he or she is up to 70 or sth then there will be  not enough job opportunities for the young, causing a serious problem of unemployment .This will affect the security of the       whole  society as well  if 3o% or more of young graduates  have nothing to do and
sail about idlely everyday! In the second place , the old  people mainly hold the positions such as the manager or superviser of a department of a company. They are usually conservative to make an important decision which cause the society develops at a low speed .And what we need actually are someone who are young and ambitous !Finally ,pressure today always cause a varieties diversity of problems both physical and psychological.  Older people have the right to rest after so many years of hard work，which will do much good to their heath condition!!

On the ther hand ,the opponents are against the idea. First of all , they have the right to decide whether they will continue working or not.It will do much help for those whose families are under a poor condition. Also the life span has increased to
about 80 ,the elder may think they can't do contribute to the society after retirement.

In view of the above discussion and the condition of China ,I do think the elder people would better retire at 60 or 65 and lead a leisure life!

夏夜之萤 发表于 2008-6-9 10:58

问：何刚老师现在这还有效么嘻嘻……

mingheshi 发表于 2008-7-7 09:17

作文大意是：科技发展人们使用手机和网络增多但是老年人较少接触科技产品
what's the benefit of internet and mobile phone to the old people?
What should be done to encourage old people to use the technology?

The new technology has been changing the way people live for thirty years. It influences nearly every aspect of modern life, how people use leisure time, how news is reported and how information is informed. Unlike the young, however, old people are not susceptible to the effects of new technology because their minds are not growing, developing. But the spread of using new technology among the old still do bring a lot benefit. Old people should be encouraged to keep up with the teenagers.

Computer is now playing a very important part in our life. First of all, surfing the Internet is a good relaxation, because the pleasant music and pictures enable the old who have retired to live a colorful life or vegetation sets in. besides, surfing the Internet is entertaining. It can bring the sports activities, performances, plays and movies around the world right in front of us and with them our life is full to joys. Above all, computer is educational. It keeps one informed about current events, allows one to follow the latest developments in science and politics.

As a communication tool, mobile phone is really useful, especially the old whose children are far from them. Take my family as an example; my grandparents live in rural areas while my farther line in city. My farther always call my grandparents if he is healthy or what he wants. With the mobile phone ever changing so fast, it owns as many functions as a computer has. My phone just cost me 600 Yuan, a low price in china’s market, can listen to the radio, take photos, even surf the Internet. If the old cannot afford a computer, a mobile phone writhing considering.

But one phenomenon we must face that few old people are interested in new technology. There is no doubt that old people would be much happier if they learn how to take advantages of high technology. For a start, great efforts should be made to inform old people particularly of the consequences of take up high technology. Also, every community should have a class from which the old can be taught a great deal.

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无忧雅思论坛's Archiver

请老师不吝赐教！感激涕零

议论文 (谢谢修改!)

Please help me to revise my essay. Many thanks.

麻烦老师匀出两分钟