急! 写了一篇essay!
大家好，我是新人，最近写了一篇东西,希望大家尽量提意见,可以帮忙改下,其实只是完成一部分了，但真的需要大家看下，给写comment.先谢谢大家了!
[size=16pt]The term multiculturalism generally refers to a state of [/size] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_%28classification_of_human_beings%29][size=16pt]racial[/size][color=#0000ff] [/color][/url][size=16pt], [/size] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture][size=16pt]cultural[/size][color=#0000ff] [/color][/url][size=16pt] and [/size] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_group][size=16pt]ethnic[/size][color=#0000ff] [/color][/url]
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diversity_%28politics%29][size=16pt]diversity[/size][color=#0000ff] [/color][/url][size=16pt] in a specified place. Multiculturalism in some countries has been aimed to recognize, celebrate and maintain the different [/size] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture][size=16pt]cultures[/size][color=#0000ff] [/color][/url][size=16pt] or cultural identities for promoting social cohesion. Particularly, Australia [/size] [size=16pt]is a multi-ethnic, multi-religious and multicultural society when globalization has become an essentially phenomenon around the world. The question of whether Australia should accept more migrants to [/size] [size=16pt] --[/size] [size=16pt] is still a hotly-debated topic. While there are arguments on both sides, it seems clear that Australia should indeed open its ----[/size] [size=16pt]-------[/size] [size=16pt]-for three important reasons: economic, socially and moral.[/size] [size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]Opponents to this view state that migrants from different cultures will lead to separation of social cohesion in Australian society. They point out that migrants from different cultures or countries are easier to be united together. Even some traditions are against Australia culture. This argument is a flawed one, however, each ethic group has their distinct heritage and they bring them to enrich Australian society, such as food, clothes, arts and histories. In addition, the first generation might break up from Australian mainstream. But their children would be get education and integrate with Australian children. They will speak English fluently, talk about the same stories and have the similar thinking with Australian children. [/size] [size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]It is also claimed that multiculturalism will bring about a negative impact on Australian economic. The argument stated that migrants make unemployment because they do the jobs of Australians. In addition, they point out that government spent a lot of money to support migrants in health, education and training. These funding aids are a part of tax. This argument is clearly untenable, because [/size] [size=16pt][/size]
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[size=16pt]这个部分是想写有关moral(refugee),但不知道怎么去写，请给建议和意见，谢谢大家了![/size]
[size=16pt]A further argument against multiculturalism is moral. refugee[/size] [size=16pt][/size]
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[size=16pt]In conclusion, with [/size] [size=16pt][/size]
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[size=16pt][/size] r u kidding me !!!!!!!!!!!!!:jing1 :jing1 对大部分雅思考生而言，“机经”两字可以说是耳熟能详，但是，备考雅思到底要不要背“机经”？“机经”的可信度到底高不高？怎么利用机经备考？启德雅思将于5月24日（周六）、5月25日（周日），在广州和佛山两地举行雅思考试真题回放日，由他们的老师给“烤鸭”分析08年的雅思考试趋势，深度分析近期热考的机经（即真题）。欢迎大家参加哦！现场除了老师会分析写作、听力机经外，还会有老师陪着练口语机经上的TOPIC，送出08年考试机经小册子（启德雅思学员专用的内部版本，外面买不到的，加了老师点评的啦~~~）。要报启德雅思的，趁这个机会报名，还有特别的优惠哦~~~
具体时间及讲座主题安排如下
广州站
时间：5月24日（周六）10:00-17:00
地点：广州图书馆东座启德学府三楼
佛山站
时间：5月25日（周日）13:00-17:00
地点：佛山市禅城区汾江南路佛山宾馆三楼
现场讲座安排还是请大家自己上网看看啦~~~~~~用百度搜搜启德雅思，挺方便滴~~~
顺便提一下，我是启德雅思的学生，Chrissie姐姐让我帮忙吹吹水滴~~~
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