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请版主指教啊!谢谢~~(一篇作文

请版主指教啊!谢谢~~(一篇作文

fayecorner


头衔:网友
发言数:7

Topic: Computers do help children to learn more effectively. On the contrary, their usage has a negative effect on both the physical and mental development of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What is the function of computer for children in their study, work and live in 21st century? A majority of people hold the opinion that computers help children to learn more effectively. Otherwise, scientists from laceName>PekinglaceName> laceType>University Health Science Center raised a new argument that the usage of computers had a negative effect on both physical and mental development of children. As for me, I prefer using computers rationally.

To begin with, computer is one of the greatest inventions in last century and brings a lot of conveniences to our life. There are two reasons to support this argument. First of all, computer has a huge storage to store millions of documents. It is not exaggerating to say that the appearance of computers is a big challenge for books and other traditional information collectors. Secondly, computers take us to a new world of internet. People can acquire various information on the internet without going out of home. It is also very important to children as they may go to school at home, just sitting in front of their computers and listening to their teachers on the internet. How convenient they are!

On the contrary, there are some negative effect of computers indeed. Take eyesight as example, doctors from the Europe and the USA say that it is harmful for young people’s eyesight by watching the computer screens over 10 hours a day. Investigations among middle schools in Beijing show a result that 75% of the students wearing glasses because of abusing computers. What is worse, the number of students indulging in playing internet games is increasing continually from 2001 to 2005. It is also harmful for their mental health, because of the massive violent scenes and so on.

In conclusion, computers bring us benefits and people use them rationally. We should not deny computer, because it can be our friend and support our way of life.

2005-8-26 16:09:22 邮件 主页 QQ 221.219.175.118
admin

头衔:管理员
发言数:208


第一段太长,
第二段走题
第三段写的不错
应该再加一段主体段

5
2005-8-26 17:00:24 邮件 主页 QQ 221.220.208.152
fayecorner

头衔:网友
发言数:7


哦,谢谢版主的点评!继续努力
2005-8-26 22:13:05 邮件 主页 QQ 221.219.175.39
leopop

头衔:网友
发言数:5


TASK2的文章可以用数据来支持论点吗?好象没有这种这种说法把?如果可以的话是要注名出处的。
2005-8-31 17:17:49 邮件 主页 QQ 60.0.216.209
admin

头衔:管理员
发言数:208


可以,没必要注明出处
批改作文(20元/篇),代写PS,推荐信,简历,签证辅导,快速低价 010-86726823, joe@yummyenglish.com.cn 样本范例在 http://www.yummyenglish.com.cn/bbs/index.asp

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