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网友作文评估

网友作文评估

Discuss whether the international media ( such as television , newspapers , magazines etc . ) brings more benefits or shortcoming to local culture .

In the morden time , more and more international media coming into our life . it is very important to us . so some people hold that the international media bring more benefits to local culture while others believe the international brings more shortcoming to local culture . l will discuss the two sides of the argument in this essay .

The proponents of this view that the international media bring more benefits to local culture .The frist , we can use the international media to spread the local culture . So many other countris will know this area , and to understand the local culture and custom . Also it will take a lot of interesting for the outside people to visit this area . So they can take some other countries culture to local area . The international media is very useful to ptomote that the local culture to evolve exchange .

On the other hand , the opponents of the above view hold that the international media brings more shortcomings to local culture . Because if the international media spread the local culture , the local culture exposed to regative element from other culture . Every culture has a lot of foults , so if these foulte for other cultuies . it will take a bad result for other cultures . The second reason that it will loss of elements of traditional culture . Because the international media bring that the cultures to evolve exchange , so local people adopt values from other cultures , and give up the local traditional culture .

In my opinion , there is some truth in both side , but the international media is a good tool to spread and exchange for local cuture . It can help people to kown this world .

In conclusion , the international madia is about spread tool .So people should be use rational for the local culture .

2005-7-4 10:50:40 邮件 主页 QQ 218.59.81.235
kenny19826

头衔:网友
发言数:11


老师  请给详细指点一下
2005-7-4 10:53:01 邮件 主页 QQ 218.59.81.235
admin

头衔:管理员
发言数:209


这篇作文为5分水平

重复套话部分较多
观点明确但论证不够清晰充分
语言表达错误和不准确地方较多
开头段自己观点不明
结尾段没很好概括观点

建议,先把自己认为充字数的部分去掉,修改补充其他地方
2005-7-4 12:35:50 邮件 主页 QQ 221.220.197.234
kenny19826

头衔:网友
发言数:11


谢谢斑竹了 辛苦了 以后我会经常请教老师的
写作真的很让我头痛 我打算八月考雅思了 可是我的作文总是没有长进 头两次也都是5分 真的不知该怎么办 还有就是我的语法相当差
也是直接影响我的成绩的主要因素 请问怎样才能短期内能获得6分

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-9-2 19:34:46编辑过]

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