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[求助]老师帮我看看我的作文吧 能拿5分吗!!!!

[求助]老师帮我看看我的作文吧 能拿5分吗!!!!

1.People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently,people believe that work hard to purchase more things,which it can people feel more comfortable. For instance,people buy private cars,computers and some high-tech productions. But some people think that this is a pity and traditional values or customs would be lost while i hold that people purchase those things is useful to their lives.

With the development of science,society rhythm become more and more fast.People always tend to buy high-tech product brcause it can advance work efficiiency.For example,computer can give people many information. If you need infromation, you simple click the mouse that the information will show in your computers.Other people would online-shopping.In this way,people's shopping become more and more converient.Bofore people would save much money.But now, people chose more comfortable and more converient lives.

People fell that buy a private cars can help to their life daily,for example,people prefer travelling go to countryside.but your trip will become easily when you have a private car.People do not waite coach in cold and under the hot sunshine.If you often go to sountryside or abroad,you will know more culture,therefore customs have not been lost.

To sum up,i hold that people should buy some tings such as high-tech production. It can advance people's work efficienty. If people think that sell more things would indace traditional values and customs have been lost,the development of world will become very slowly.Therefore i consider people purchase more things do not infulence traditional valuse ans customs

还有:.Should university provide student specialized course or skill for workplace or university should offer course in its own snack,regardless of whether it is useful for work.应该怎么写啊 我没观点 给点启发吧 谢谢

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这一篇文章呢,首先没有抓住文章的主题,在一篇瞎侃声中,文章确实很难达到5分的要求,再加上语言比比皆是的错误和莫名其妙的表达,更加使考官对你不会手软了。建议你至少上一个写作班,综合提高一下自己的实力.而在这一方面,首推环球名师慎小嶷的写作课了,这位老师不论在语言,观点还是思路上,都会给在云里雾里的学员们拨云见天日的神奇,加上他最近连连命中写作考题的实力,实在是雅思写作界的一大名将啊。可幸的是,他在12月份会带环球的写作单项班,这下广大学员们有福啦.将雅思写作踩在脚下,何其快哉!

美国研究生部留学顾问
新东方留学服务中心前途出国
网址:liuxue.neworiental.org
电话:010-62605599转610
MSN:  parwazhang@hotmail.com
QQ :  852222912

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第二篇文章的意思是大学应该教给学生职业性的,或者实用的课程还是理论性的知识。所以观点最好是给学生打理论的基础,并且教会他们实用的课程。观点当然分别是知识任何重要啦,实用性的课程如何重要啦.细则的论述可以从具体的课程出发,以使论述更加充分.
美国研究生部留学顾问
新东方留学服务中心前途出国
网址:liuxue.neworiental.org
电话:010-62605599转610
MSN:  parwazhang@hotmail.com
QQ :  852222912

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