雅思四个九

雅思写作评分标准诠释(Part Two)
The Grading Policy Of IELTS Writing Task2
Make sure your essay is readable. If your essay is easy to read, you can get better marks. The IELTS exam marks for the second writing test are divided into 3 categories:

First, answering the question accurately.

Second, cohesion and coherence.

Third, language appropriateness (grammar, spelling, register etc.). When you see this you understand the importance of spending time thinking about the meaning of the question(answering the question accurately) and organizing your ideas(coherence) before starting to write. Work on these aspects of writing dramatically improves the quality of an answer without even beginning to look at grammar, spelling and register. Therefore, you must keep your ideas simple as this will help with expressing and organizing what you want to say clearly.

雅思四个九

注释:
1、register: (linguistics)range of vocabulary, grammar etc used by writers in professional contexts. （语言学）语域，即指在专业领域中作者所使用的词汇，可以理解为与题目相关领域的vocabulary。
2. cohesion: tendency to stick together. 凝聚力，内聚，可以理解为围绕一个中心展开讨论，思路清晰，支持有力，不写与题目无关的东西。
3. coherence: being (of ideas, thoughts, speech, reasoning, etc) connected logically or consistently; easy to understand; clear. 连贯性，一致性。可以理解为观念、思想、言论、推理合乎逻辑；前后一致；让人易懂。

雅思四个九

考官改卷的过程一般是这样的：
快速阅卷，并在有错误的地方做记号（不修改），除非在出现相互矛盾或复杂句型错误或英语表达水平很好者而一定要找出不足的情况下才会在卷上留迹。阅完，首先从整体上来判断是否离题，若离题，英语水平再高也只得4分；若偏题，偏一点的（这是很普遍的）那7分就基本上没戏了，明显偏的，最高得分为5分。其次，看段与段之间，每段中句与句之间的的cohesion and coherence（看上面注释）。再次，才会考虑语法、拼写和词汇。最后，考官给出分数并写二、三句话的评语（现大部分用电脑打印好的评语往上贴----省时），所以这种评分标准就能解释为什么有的高中生词汇量非常有限却能考6分甚至7分，而有的大学毕业生过了4级却得5分甚至4分。这种评分标准也不是说词汇就不重要，而是要你学会一个，吃透一个，灵活应用一个。拼写错误属小错，是累积扣分的。简单的语法错误给考官的印象很不好，语法不好的人是很难拿6分的。由于写作是人在批改，免不了有个人因素在里头，尤其在5分和6分的评定，但7分或以上的就没有，还须重审，考官会反复检阅后才给分。

雅思四个九

V117 some people think that children should learn to compete in the world, but others think the children should be taught to cooperate so as to become more useful to society. State your reasons from both sides and give your own opinion.
As a famous saying goes ：competition is a part of human nature. We were born for competition in natural selection. Of course, cooperation has become a growing tendency as a result of globalization. Therefore, as for children's education, personally, I think both competition and cooperation hold equal importance.
We always compete with each other consciously or unconsciously. Companies strive for a larger scale of production and a higher profit, （；）students work diligently for top grades or chance to enter a key university, （；）parents spur their children to be outstanding among their peers and every one of us are （is）eager for success or at least a good standard of life.
Cooperation usually comes up with competition. Two individuals can obtain much more than they could do separately. For example, Yao Ming is a genius basketball player, but he has never made the Houston Rockets as champion by himself. As a dominant player, he still has to score his points with the assistance from his teammates. Furthermore, these years, Japanese government has organized a project called outdoors survival annually in order to encourage the teenagers to learn cohesion and teamwork which , they regard, will benefit a lot.
In a word, both competition and cooperation are common elements in our social life and we'd better make good use of them accordingly. It seems that rational competition and cooperative consciousness may fix our children very well in future society.
得分：7分
语言表达能力强，文章的可读性高，内容翔实，极少语法错误，文章结构完整连贯，论据逻辑支持有力，观点明确，250字以上。
以上几个方面缺一都无法得标准的7分。此作者若想冲击8分，则尚有一段距离，expressions、vocabulary和分析力度都须再上一层次。例如，
BODY1结尾加上：Competition pervades every corner of school as well as society. As a consequence, learning how to compete with others can help
children adapt themselves quickly to leading a normal social life after graduation.(又回应了TOPIC)

雅思四个九

作文点评：如何强调一方批驳一方 (V108A)

V108
Many people believe that the government should not spend large amounts of money on building theaters and sports stadiums; instead, the money should be spent on medical/health care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are many places of entertainment established in our public places, such as theaters and stadiums. These places usually cost government(s) a lot of money. However, should government(s) spend so much money on these places? In my opinion(point) of view, government(s) should invest much money on medical care or education, instead of entertainment.
One of (the)importance(important) reason(s) is that government(s) should give priority to the medical care and medical research. On one hand, in this society, lots of handicapped and patients have been suffering from ill(nesses). Those people will lose the self-confidence of living without the government's aid and the care of the society. On the other hand, there are a lot of diseases lead(ing) to people dead(people's deaths) in the world, but we don't know the reasons at all, such as AIDS or SARS which is the best popular contagious (+disease)at present. So, the authorities ought to spend money to set up medical care system and medical research for the satisfaction of each person's essential demands for survival.
Another reason is that it is important for the authorities to focus on education. According to the official statistics, nearly half of children in the rural regions are unable to finish their elementary education, and some of them fail to go to school because of lack of money. Therefore, the government should provide a part of revenue to educational institutions so that a perfect educational system will be established for every child's opportunity of being educated.
Last but not least reason is that people's concept of entertainment have already changed, traditional concourse of entertainment couldn't adapted(meet) people's new require(requirements) of relaxation, more and more items of relaxation could be selected, such as disco and amusement park. So, it is not necessary for the government to furnish(?) the theater and stadium.
Generally, medical care, education, instead of theater(s) and stadium(s), are the principle(principal) problem that the authorities shall solve(?) prior to the others by the effective utilization of the limited funds.  (杨倩)

点评：
这篇文章挺有代表性，得分：5。5至6减（实际考试为6分）

英语表达能力为6分。不足之处：
1、尽管BODY3说了一下反面，stadiums 或sports没怎么说；
2、Conclusion所说的东西不是problem,假如一定要"搞"出个problem,那可以这样写：
   All in all, a fair society should guarantee that no child is raised in illiteracy and no patient without money is rejected by the hospital. These are major problems in many developing countries, longing for considerable amounts of subsidy on education and health care. Therefore, I suggest that the agenda of building theaters or sports stadiums should be put aside.
3、写作手法不好，这种TOPIC按作者的观点应采用对比、反驳，否则没有完全符合TOPIC的要求。所以在每个BODY中应强调正方的重要性而批驳反方的观点。
比如说：
It is costly to build sports stadiums and the expenditure of maintenance is enormous. This kind of public sporting facilities can only meet a small number of people's needs. However, education and health care are essential organs of society......
然后再说出它们的重要性。

雅思四个九

V116（A）--如何从5分提高到6分



V116 Some information in films, books and on the Internet has had influence on young people, and even on society. Some think such information should be controlled/censored. Discuss both sides and state your opinion. You should use your own experience or examples.

Nowadays, sa(?) we are3(?) lieing(?) in a high technologic country, there are many advanced media surrounding us, which enrich our leasure(leisure) times and assist our professional research However, some people complain that the government should reduce the use of these media among young people. From my point of view, I would say these media both have advantages and disadvantages for the youngth(young). We should look at all of the aspects carefully.
  
Reading more books and watching more films would broaden ou(our) minds. Because we read different kinds of books and obtain different information form films, we are able to acknowledge(know) different cultures in many countries. We would have more opportunities to meet various friends who come from overseas, as we have known their backgrounds and we have a lot of things in common.

Another important reason for these media is they(?) make things quicker. Take the internet for example, it not only has a huge rangs(range) of information ,but also would help us to select what sort of material we accurately(exactly) need in a few seconds

Although these kind(s) of media are convenient ,they still have some drawbacks. Committing crimes should be recognized as the main disadvantage of those media. According to an analysis in an academic magazine ,a quarter of the crimes were committed by young people and over 50% of them were committed by watching violent movies and reading sexual plots( pornography ) on the internet. Those young people have disturbed our stable living environment((???)). Some doctors reported that most older than 15 years old young patients go wound(?) because of imitating the Gong Fu Stars' actions. As far as protecting young people's lives is concerned, the government should control the times of programs which invoves(involves) some over exciting plots(?).

To sum up, the government should strenthen（strengthen） the beneficial aspects of the media and minimize the proportion of those drawbacks.

点评:      
得分为5分。
此学员确实能用一些较复杂的表达(相对应其程度来讲)，但出错率太高，光
拼写的累积扣分就够他受的。其实会用难词、难句当然会给考官好印象，但
此生的英语程度尚不能刻意去这样做，用错了给倒扣。6分的表达水平并不
在于用难词、难句，而在于能够比较精确地表达自己的思想。另外，作者对
IELTS TASK2的文章结构理解不够，这样写的整体感较差.下面我把作者所
写的东西重新组织一下，这样就可以提高可读性了。

BODY1段首加上：
Admittedly media such as films, books and the Internet play an important role in our daily lives. They can not only broaden our minds but also help us better communicate with other people from different cultures......然后陈述
其好的方面，并把BODY2归入BODY1。

BODY3变成BODY2，段首加上：
On the other hand, media's negative effects have appeared in society.
According to….然后陈述其坏的方面。

Conclusion:
In conclusion, films, books and the Internet have become part of our daily lives, but bad information really disturbs the peace of society. In my opinion,  the Government should take measures to censor information from the mentioned media. This practice will strengthen the beneficial aspects of the media and minimize the proportion of those drawbacks.

Sophie_in_Perth

我花了一个半小时看完了所有上面"雅思9999"的帖子,
无法用语言来表达!
受益匪浅!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我终于知道为什么我上次作文没考到7分了!!!

跪谢雅思9999!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

conniegu

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

litarcy1

请问我22号考试的时候 忘了 齐头式 每段之间也空一行了

这样会不会影响成绩
我最后才5分

最后请专家 讲解一下 more and  more media attention paid for famous people who seccess in sports,cenimer.Why do you think this intertst? Do you thind this is good thing?

应该如何写