chszhulikui

题目是Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. What is your opinion?

我的作文
Technology play a pivotal role in efficienty and productivity. It is an integral part of the development of economy and society in last century and millennium as well.

1，        你的观点呢？文章不要你来回答到底给社会和经济有什么帮助。而是问你到底加大贫富差距没有。

I do not think that technology may broaden the gap between rich people and poor people. Along with the increase number of individuals available technology, it rise humanity a new level. （中式英语） Take computer for exemple, it just apply on data analysis in related department decades ago, but in recent rs, almost all families have at lest one own computer as well as internet, is makes everything just click away from people. The agricultural aspect is the one of the most important feilds which is innovated by technology. Not only govornment take care of the crop via a advanced method, but also individuals.That substantially boosts productivity of main crops, such as  rice, thus combat the food issue as well as enhance people's living situation.
这个段落的切入点还是不错的。

Not can everyone get access to know what is technology. People who live in misery and frustration have no money even no time to think about how use technology to improve thire lifestyle, the priority for them is how to survive. （不懂） If govornment pay more attention on this problem, that will be the way to minimise the distanse between rich people and poors.
这个段落基本上没有把问题说清楚。

What is important, therefore, is education. Give paupers good education is more better than just give them money. More and more high level knowledge is used prevalent in the world, less and less poverty will be happened

很多雅思话题其实采取一个分析的思维去写可能会更好：
第一个段落表面自己的观点：某些科学技术肯定缩小了贫富差距，但是某些科学技术加大了贫富差距。

第二个段落你基本上还是不错的，例子的选择也可以。就是一些语法的表达有问题。Take computer for exemple, it just apply on data analysis in related department decades ago, but in recent rs, almost all families have at lest one own computer as well as internet, is makes everything just click away from people. 这里就是不应该出现的语法问题。

第三个段落你可以来证明或者说明有些科学技术可以加大贫富差距。比如Toyota公司让很多的日本人富裕起来了，但是很多中国人可能用一生的积蓄才能买个车子。比如Windows操作系统早就了比如Bill Gates这样的富翁，但是一般的人可能要用一个月的工资的一半才能买个正版的操作系统。

最后总结。

志摩之外

创意哦！楼主高人啊 谢

runly888

回复 20# chszhulikui


    thanks for your rectifications and suggestions!

奔跑的蜗牛

lz要好好活下去，路总会有的，我的家人也在地震中逝去了，可是我想坚强的活着，好好的活着，因为我是在代替他们活着

jaewon_2

回复 1# IELTSno1

老师，
我是1.23日的G类考试，可以帮我改下这两篇作文吗？ 谢谢
Email: jaewon_2@hotmail.com

Task 1:
You have recently started work in a new company.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter
        Explain why you changed job
        Describe your new job
        Tell him/her your other news

Dear Jo,

How are you going? I am quite busy these days something happened at the same time. Anyway, I am writing this letter to tell you a good news — I found a great job last week.

Do you remember I was working for a travel agency? At the most time, I was required work overtime without compensation for my extra work by the manager. Thus, I am looking for another job during this month. Fortunately, I found this great job, which is the accountant, at an international accountant firm. Because they have a business with a Chinese company, they need an experienced accountant who can speak Chinese and English. This company also offers the good welfare to me. I can apply one month paid vacation per annum. Meanwhile, they would pay the CPA examination fee for me till I pass the all courses.

I reckon I could take a break and go to see you at Thanksgiving Day. I have not seen you one r. Hope I can see you soon.

Regards,
Susan


Task 2: Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

During these rs, it seems that more people prefer to live in a house than an apartment. Despite some people still hold the view that living in an apartment could obtain more benefits, some people are willing to buy a house. This easy will compare the advantages and disadvantages of living a house and an apartment.

Firstly, the location of apartments is better than houses. A large part of apartments located in the city center or the city business district (CBD). The convenient location is a reason why some people like to live in an apartment. Living in the city center or CBD could save the time and transportation fees for people who is working in the city.

Secondary, the selling price of an apartment is lower than a house. In Adelaide, the selling price of an apartment in the city from 178,000 dollars, however, the selling price of a house in the west suburb is around 560,000 dollars. Choosing an apartment would reduce the economic afford for a family, which is another reason why some people prefer to live in an apartment.

On the contrary, the activity space of an apartment is limited. Living in an apartment, people could not have their own garden or garage. Without garden, children only can play in their bedroom or living room, and elderly people loose a way of kill time. Hence, living in a house would be a best choice for elderly people and the family with kids.

To sum up, living in a house, people could obtain more activity space than living in an apartment. However, I believe that the convenient location and the selling price should be the primary consider factors when people facing this difficult choice.

ViMoo

回复 1# IELTSno1
谢谢咯~~邮箱啦:vivianlee0420@gmail.com

4 People should learn history in order to solve present problems. Do you agree or disagree?

History, as a mirror of the past, still plays a vital role in our modern life, especially in terms of politic, military, and society development. Even though man steps in a new stage, historic experiences are essential to help people tackle various present problems. In this essay, I intend to explore

Admittedly, most knowledge and technology in the past are out of fashion and seem useless to solving today’s problems. Sometimes, the means of our ancestors dealing with problems are ridiculous, due to the very advanced technology nowadays. In contrast, the problems now humans confronted are mostly far beyond our ancestors’ ability, such as using computers to analyze medical pictures.

However, these fall to mean the useless of history. Instead of simplistic skills, the mind is what we real need to learn from our ancestors. From history, we can recognize how the ancestors dealt with problem, not what technical skills they used. With the help of our ancestors’ thoughts, the way we think is becoming more through and strategic.

Furthermore, the ancestors’ experiences enable us to avoid some mistakes. Obviously, with the lessons of failure history tells, we can avoid unnecessary sacrifice when we solve problems in similar situation. It is an effective means to enrich people’s second-hand experiences which are also valuable.

By way of conclusion, history enable people tackle problems more effective and wisely, because it offers modern people many ideas to adopt and many experiences to draw on, even though some skills fall to apply to certain undertakings. Therefore, learning history is impressive for modern people in dealing with problems.   

maryyang884

老师你好，希望你能够批改我的作文， 题目是：
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten, Discuss

Debates about globalisation rage in the media, at the international conferences and even in the streets. In spite of the tremendous positive affects it has offered, it is also having a significant negative impact on world's economies- issues that are often fraught with intense emotion and controversy.

Some argues that globalization has broden the horizen of people's e and offered opportunities for both developing countries and companies to expand into new markets and allowed them to investe to achieve a higher return. However, to many people, foreign means danger and there are reasons behind it. Globalisation has simply allowed Western countries to overwhelm the world at the expense of smaller or develping countries, local culture and values. Take NIKE as an example. with the movement of factories of this international broadband to areas like China and India, the manufacturing cost has been largely reduced as the cheap labour force has been fully used.It can not only use the cheap chinese or indian resource for pruducing shirts and sports shoes, but also transfer the pollution to these countries without any complian. Nowadays, we see nearly every shirt or shoes, even groceries are made in China or other develping countries, but the true story behind the scene is not good-looking.

Moreover, globalisation will lead to a stripping away of identity and a brandly unifrom world. Local businesses are disappearing since they can not compete with global international companies. The global fast food and drink culture have been spread all over the world by companies like Macdonald's and Coca-cola. In the meanwhile, local food and drinks manufacturers are becoming less distinct and some weak ones are gradually disappear. These global brands have dominated the industries and hardly can any local brand compete with them but soon die out.

In conclusion, globalization has provided more cons than pros. All we need is the porper authorities that could provide certain laws or legislations that could regulate and reinforce the fairness and openess of globalisation.


谢谢！！ 我的email  yangyang884@gmail.com

sinkylover

Through the information that is provided in the pie chart. we can know that the amounts of electricity production through fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
At first, the total production (Australia and France) all doubled, with the 170 units in Australia and 180 units in France. Then the majority of the fuel source in Australia(1980) was coal, which accpunted for half of the total proportion. The hydro power was almost same in 2000. And the natural gas and oil decreased dramatically in 2000. The last was the coal, which was about twice bigger than it in 1980.
Compares with Australia, the coal , oil, and natural gas approximately occupied the same proportion in 1980 in France. The nuclear power went up significantly in 2000, which shared about the 75% of the total production. But it was disappeared in Australia in 2000. And coal in France in 2000was also less than Australia.
To sum up, Australia employ the coal as main fuel source and France use the nuclear power as the major fuel source.


这是我写的剑桥7 Test4 一片小作文 忘老师修改下 谢谢  462892711@qq.com

森林小草

sunnyfish2001

More and more children are putting more weight than ever before,  what are the causes of this and any suggestions?
请老师指点!

Nowadays, along with the increase of people’s living standard and choices of food resources, crowds of over fat adolescents can be seen everywhere in the streets and in the schools. More and more health experts and teachers begin to concern the health conditions of our country’s future generation. Below I will share my opinion in terms of over weight of children.

   One of the key reasons is that the booming of fast food restaurants, like KFC and Papa Johnson; While they are attracting increasingly young people. French fries, fried chicken and hamburgers consist of too many fat and unknown ingredients which lead teenagers over weighted. Besides, their discounted coupons, free toys and gifts are often persuasive to students to consume more.

  Next factor is that students do not do sports or take out-door exercise as much as long ago, which is the result of increasing homework and assignment from school and unsafe social environment. Under the pressure of university entrance examinations, fewer students go hiking on summer vocations. In addition, crimes take place almost doubled. Parents often worry of children’s safety when they travel far away from home. Simultaneously, news of blackmail and murdering can be read ubiquitously. As a result, living spaces of young adolescents are constrained smaller and smaller.
  However, whether the problem can be resolved depends on three-side effort, from parents, school and government. Firstly, parents should give less pocket money to their children and impede them form toxic food; while school should arrange relating lectures and give advices in responsible attitude; more importantly, government should diminish crime rate in all efforts and create a safe environment for children. With the three parties’ endeavor, our hopes of future will grow up healthily.

insoyang

topic:Nowadays parents like to give pocket money to their kids as a means of encouragement. Others think it has some negative aspects. What are the advantages and disadvantages of pocket money?

In contemporary society, parents prefer to give pocket money to their children. As to whether children should receive pocket money, there ignite a heat debate. Personally, I would like to argue that the advantages are overweight disadvantages in terms of giving pocket money to kids.

It is widely accepted by most that giving kids pocket money has numerous merits. In the first place, in this way children are thought to be more independent. Specifically, a limited amount of found would give them a challenge to plan how to use moony efficiently. In the second place, it can be a way of encouragement. Parents would give kids pocket money as prizes when their children get an excellent score, which will motivate children in their study. In the third place, giving money to children would make them more confident. Children who receive pocket money would have a sense of identification because they think they are treated as an adult.

To the downside, giving money to kids might cause some negative effects. To begin with, children might become snobbish. Children would compare with their peers the amount they got. Moreover, it may lead to youngsters’ crime. Those children who born in impoverished families may commit crimes in order to get money.

In a nutshell, I would concede that giving pocket money to kids might exert detrimental influence of children, but such problem could be tackled by parental guidance. Overall, I am convinced that giving pocket money and guidance of spending money to children would promote children’s future development in the society which competition is stiff.

insoyang@live.cn

谢谢两位老师啦~

hohobear

uppppppppppp~

bonniegolden

Some people think that examinations have some bad effects on both students and teachers. Some people say they do a good job in the evaluation of the students’ performance. What is your opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Examinations exist for a thousand rs. Though there may some drawbacks in tests, they have been proved to be the one and only reliable and secure way to measure student’s ability and knowledge.

Examinations could ensure the equality of education. If college entrance exam had not existed in china, then, uncountable bribes would have been soared by the parents with fortune. In this case, Students who are raised in upper class would have a fat chance to go to an elite university than those who born humble. In other words, college entrance exam systems ensures everyone get the equal chance to go to university. This may help the stability of society as well.

Examinations could urge students to learn knowledge. If a student who is unwilling to learn, there is a great possibility he would fail in exam. And if that happened, he would force to learn it again until he passed the exam. Therefore, it is the existence of test that enables him to learn.

Exam does favor in teachers as well. It is a common knowledge that remark such as, “this issue will appear in the examination”, would spare teachers’ lots of lecture in how important this issue is. Test is the most effective way to help teacher to intensive which part of the question students should pay extra attention.

Reluctantly, sometimes examination couldn’t suit all students. Some students with special talents but do poor in tests may lose their chances. Over all look, tests could enhance student to study positively, help teachers. And most important, offer everybody the same chance to advance their study.   

email:bonniegolden@qq.com

I know there's lots of defects in this article, but i've try my best.
I would very appreciate if someone could give me some suggestions.

edelwissw

回复 1# IELTSno1


    我的邮箱： edelwissw@126.com

作文：Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When asked about education or work, most people say that youngster should finish their academic in university. But many other person regard them as labour to work in factory as a worker. I personally think that it should depend on the situation of their family andd the intellectual faculties.

From the perspective of student, the more knowledge they are tought, the more faurable they are put in future life. especially, under the intense competition in today`s socity, the academic credentials is the most powerful gurantee. At present, Millins of grown-up have to go back to the open university and spend more time and energy on update. So why the young neednot go to college? Besides the people with high-quality and talents increased speedly beacause of the growing number of undergraduate. Therefore, it produce positive effects on improving national power and people quality. Therefore, the people who have high-education are not only benefit on the stabilization of community, but also having active impact on the economy. By reason of their brightness, professional knowledge as well as innovotion, they can promote social progreaa and development.

Although the adolescant enducated in the university have a lot of advantance, choosing to find a job after graduate from senior high school is not a bad idea. A large number of people tend to live * that they had completed their education when they finished their schools. In reality, no college or unversity can educate its student all the knowledge by the time they graduate.  There re more knowledge need to be learned from the job and life. By the young. Consequently, by taking a work as builders or car mechanics and so on, the adolescent can not only learn a prfessional skills , but gain much experience , which they will never be able to get from the textbooks. Moreover, compare to be instiled textbook kownledge, the yong prefer to put into practice. Being by doing and their own master in learning, they can acquire more than before. In addition, only do the young accesed social they realize how difficult their parents to support a family. As in the following, they will underest the parents and become more responsibility and independence.

“ it is best only when it fits you”. having taken all the factors into consideration, we can see the two views that have both positive effecation. For my opinion, It is the wisdom choice that the youngster choose to find a job if he is not good at sphere of learning and grow up in a poor family. Otherwise, going to the university is the best way for him.

15010286686

回复 20# chszhulikui


    老师， 我的作文时四分，三十号要考试，继续作文的批改, 您看看我最近的练习有没有进步。
题目是：some people believe that intelligent children should learn ih the same class with other common students while other people think inrelligent children should learn separatle with secial treatment . diecuss both sides ang give your own opinion .
With the social mass  attachment more importance to cultivated on brilliant student . one side of the debate prove that acute children should equally received the education as some as other ordinary students , whereas others opposed the opinion , they demonstrate that the innate student was capacity to be instructed considerable special treatment .
Providing advanced facilities and resources for the intelligent students, the acute children would maximize the efficiency considerably and accelerate society development . firstly , the students were capable of utilizing the resource adequately , meanwhile , make the massive beneficial result . if government separarely the intelligent children with  special treatment , the common students might decrease the pressure and the self-abased   and from the environment and the intelligent student around them , so they can study freely from inhibitions .
On the other hand , learning in the same situation would motivate the common students to work harder and improve their skill of cooperation . according with the intelligent students direct , the ordinary children would boost their level and also make the beneficial like the innovate children . meanwhile , the way enhanced each of them technique of cooperation and set up friendship .  the acute children gradually change their self- important view . help the common student , it will built  the atmosphere that every body mutual help .
My view is that no matter leading them in the same class or not , ia could make beneficial for society. So , the two ways can adopted .
， 您帮我看一下我最近的文章。

light_987

老师辛苦啦！多改改哈~~我偷学~~还不会自己写……

amy小倩

老师 我是这次1月9号考的 作文5分 您帮我看看问题出在哪儿好么？
谢谢您！题目：charity organizations should give aid to people in the greatest need, wherever they are from 还是 help people in their own country
discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the developing of the society and the advancing of the quality of our lives, people in increasing number are focus on helping others, in other words, to establish charity organizations.
Some suggest that charity organizations should help people in poverty who are in the greatest need of help, which I cast doubt on it. For instance, a charity organization in China has just been built, us we know, the majority people in great need are in Africa. What kind of aid could the organization offer and how to help really should be carefully discussed. The organization might just be donated in just several thousands of RMB, and that is even not enough for the plane tickets for the members to reach there. Moreover, what kind of help does the people there need most is not clear to the volunteers, too. It is possible for them to meet great danger on the way providing help. There for, the charity organizations should plan their aid carefully to make best use of the manpower and materials.
Others believe that those charity organizations should just help people in their own county, which is not wise I suppose. The individual who could build charity organizations are mostly wealthy, and the county of them are mostly developed. It should be the government’s duty to help the people in poverty in those countries, rather than charity organizations.
From what have been discussed above, we can conclude that the programs of aid from charity organizations should be carefully planned after comprehensive investigations in order to make the donations could be used in the most infective ways.

inuyashazaq

Some people say that people should have different amount of holiday according to their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this opinion?

In modern businesses length of holidays is arranged to emplos depending on their positions and levels in an enterprise and careers they choose. Although many of them sometimes argue that amounts of spared time are unfair, from my perspective, however, the free time should be given related to what and how well tasks that emplos complete.

Numerous people complain about their relatively short holiday time compared with those who enjoy longer vocations. However, they ignore the point that rewards are given depending on the task achievement. Consider those people who are in lower positions and make much lower profits for a company, it is unreasonable to give them the same amount of holidays as managers and emplos obtain.

Furthermore, the policy of separating levels of rewards, including holidays, can motivate emplos to perform better in their professions. Once they have acknowledged that people in higher positions enjoying a better treatment, they tend to work harder and replace the people sitting in higher levels. This may encourage both of the fundamental workers and the relatively higher groups to pay their attention to their work, since they are put significant pressure by lower ones.

However, the fairness is always one of the issues. These basic levels’ emplos, from daily experiences, usually work for the longest time compared with those who in other levels. The tactical groups, including chairmen, CEOs and managers, spend much less time on jobs while obtain the most profits, which is what argued by emplos the most. However, it can attribute to the responsibility of these people. More the rights and duties a leader has, more the responsibility he or she should pay. These people are who carry large risks of a whole enterprise, and once the company breaks down, they are the most disappointed losers. Therefore, they should be given more holiday time than others in order to encourage and relax them.

In conclusion, the variety of length of holiday can be established depending on one’s position and career, due to the difference in responsibility, although there are still some issues about fairness.

wenjie1985imau

老师好认真

wenjie1985imau

老师辛苦！