题目：The university should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give students more practical training. Do you agree or disagree?

这道题目的4分、5分范文及症结所在大家可以参看我的帖子。下面帖出一篇学生8分习作。大家讨论讨论好在何处，以及哪儿存在问题。我将在10天之后发表评论。

For a long time, there has been arguments about whether university should or should not provide students with practical training while teaching theoretical knowledge. As to this matter I hold the opinion that it’s university’s function to provide students theoretical knowledge, but not necessarily it’s duty to give them practical training.

It is generally considered that university is an institution which concentrate on mainly two tasks: one is cultivating people to be professional in their fields, the other is doing further research on certain aspects. These two tasks decide that university focus on theoretical knowledge, but not practical training. What’s people looking for in the further education in university? Certainly it’s knowledge and most probably the theoretical knowledge. If they are seeking for some practical training, why not they enter some kind of skill-training institution or just find a job, both of which are likely to give them many more chances of practical training than a university can afford. As people don’t resort university to get practical training, why should university provide such training which its students would not expect?

Admittedly, university students are prone to do practical work once they graduate and I’m certainly for that they should know something practical about their major which means the students ought to be prepared for their future career. However, preparation doesn’t necessarily require practical training while they’re obtaining theoretical knowledge. For instance, a student of law can easily be familiar with practical affairs by the means of taking courses of practical affairs. Sometimes it’s a waste of time and human labor resource to attend so-called practical training in a court. In a sentence, it’s not university’s responsibility to provide practical training and it’s rather meaningless for students to participate in types of practical training when time’s for them to attain more theoretical knowledge.

这篇文章的语法错误很少，我仔仔细细看了一遍，发现两处小错误： For a long time, there has been arguments about..... 的has应该改成have It is generally considered that university is an institution which concentrate on mainly two tasks: 这里的concentrate也应该用单数第三人称concentrates 还有，我觉得8分作文最大的优点在于论述充分，说话很到点上，逻辑性也很强，可能这也是6分作文欠缺的 第二段中的设问句和反问句相当漂亮，让文章的论述变得充实，有力 结尾段虽然也只有一句，但是很全，点题重申论点样样不少，同时也那么一个长句子也没有什么语法错误，可见作者水平很高呀

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-4-8 1:37:55编辑过]

第二段倒数第二行


many more chances...

这篇文章在主题段落中并不是像新东方老师说的要多点分论点，仅仅就用了两个段落来证明自己观点，这样就为自己在这两个分论点上多出时间来进行更深层次的论证。 请问何钢 老师我们是不是在考试的时候要多多注意一下观点的充分讨论，最好是想出一些比较不错的观点来证明自己的论断，而不是要在论点数量上下功夫（这也是不是6分和8分的区别？），论点少会不会对我们的分数有影响

其实cam和高分作文上好多例文都是这种风格，论述充分，重质不重量。佩服之至。。。


希望自己能慢慢做到。。。

我越看越觉得写作文难啦


我5。29就要考了，觉得没戏

语法错误少是肯定的了，老实说我一遍读下来只发现一处，还有一处标点错误。


结构好。第一段首先从光范围角度解释命题，然后明确给出自己观点。第2，3段都以关键句开头，点名本段内容。结尾再次强调了观点


论证充分，话说的很尽。其实都是很简单的道理关键就在于我们在用英文写作时总是习惯草草收笔


观点好。一方面从学校讲，一方面从学生讲，可见作者在选择论点时是下了功夫得，也就证明了写前几分钟得构思有多重要。


关联词用的很到位，尤其第三段，没句话几乎一读开头就知道整句话要说什么了，老外就喜欢这样。


       


优点说了，我再砸几板砖，属个人看法


文章感觉起来主观意识过强了，第二段尤其明显。虽然文章要agree和disagree，但有些话说的比较武断。观点是要鲜明没错，可是要建立在客观事实基础上。


再一个感觉就是文章不够formal，上面有位版主mm说反问设问用的好，可是我总觉得不仅破坏了第二段得连贯性而且不够formal。在我看来有一句就已经足够了，这里社问与反问构成了第二段得整体。不过我这是一家之言。

可算有些讨论的气氛了


楼上的GG说得有些道理，再看一遍，确实有些武断，但是我看文章的时候，设问反问确实把我说服了，所以我就觉得好....也是个人观点


另外，还有问题要请教GG，就是，我对formal和informal一直都没有什么特别直接的理解......也看不出来什么文章就formal了，什么文章就informal了.......怎样做就特别formal了呢？

我吐血，刚写了一堆又没发上。以后一定要先登陆再发言了。


请教不敢当，就我所知formal的文章在语法上多用被动，词汇上避免词组和口语，不用缩写，句式上多为长句。整体而言文章条理清楚，内容客观。


剑桥mm为了学习也读过n多外文书吧，在我读的里面法律和管理类是最formal的，也似乎没见过一段话或者一个论点由如此多的设问反问构成。学中文语法我知道设问反问都起了强调作用，所以整个第二段给我的感觉就是强烈的主观臆断。再有单从英文语感的角度来说（因为很少见老外用反问），第二段的两个反问给我的感觉就是活生生将一句话拆成两句，配上前面设问，影响了文章连贯性，读起来很不舒服。


不过俺们都是学生，来这里的目的除了给人帮助还有学习提高，还是请专家何老师来评论吧。

我对the third paragraph不是很明白，主要意思是什么？

两次烤鸭都5分作文，苦恼中。。。

第12天了.........

这么说，在写议论文时，并不是最好举三个论据咯？？？（新东方上课时比较推荐3论据）

如何在短期时间使自己的语言能力更上一成楼呢？背一些好句是不是办法？

Admittedly, university students are prone to do practical work once they graduate and I’m certainly for that they should know something practical about their major which means the students ought to be prepared for their future career.

their majors,which mean the students ought to be prepared for their future careers.

作者没用复数的地方不只这两出.而且正式文章不能用简写的.感觉作者的文章条理很好,有深度.但是估计8分高点了.估计考官最先看的他的吧.

For a long time, there has been arguments about whether university should or should not provide students with practical training while teaching theoretical knowledge. As to this matter I hold the opinion that it’s [U]a[/U] university’s function to provide students [U]with [/U]theoretical knowledge, but not necessarily[U] its [/U]duty to give them practical training.

It is generally considered that university is an institution which [U]concentrates[/U] on mainly two tasks: one is cultivating people to be professional in their fields, the other is doing further research [U]in [/U]certain [U]subjects[/U]. These two tasks decide that university focus on theoretical knowledge, but not practical training. What [U]are [/U]people looking for in the further education in university? Certainly it’s knowledge and most probably theoretical knowledge. If they are seeking for some practical training, why [U]do they not [/U]enter some kind of skill-training institution or just find a job, both of which are likely to give them many more chances of practical training than a university can afford. As people don’t [U]go [/U[U]](sesort is usually megative)[/U]university to get practical training, why should university provide such training which its students would not expect?

Admittedly, university students are[U] likely (prone is also usually negative)[/U]to do practical work once they graduate and I’m certainly for that they should know something practical about their major which means the students ought to be prepared for their future career. However, preparation doesn’t necessarily require practical training while they’re obtaining theoretical knowledge. For instance, a student of law can easily be familiar with practical affairs by the means of taking courses of practical affairs. Sometimes it’s a waste of time and human labor resource to attend so-called practical training in a court. In a sentence, it’s not university’s responsibility to provide practical training and it’s rather meaningless for students to participate in types of practical training when time’s for them to attain more theoretical knowledge.

It is generally considered that university is an institution which concentrate on mainly two tasks 应该是 concentrates 。 观点的确武断一些，可是老外不是喜欢说话极端一些吗？而且觉得这样写比较省力。

就我所知，老外是不喜欢说话极端的。这就好像辩论赛一样，极端只是给自己增加负担而已。不是说世事无绝对么，写论文如果搞极端，那我们老说的balance不就失去意义了？

的确象楼上的仁兄所说,老外不喜欢极端的书法.在大学,论文的观点都不能偏激的.


       

受教了，多谢两位楼上。


何老师怎么还没有来呀？